It’s So True: Sin Agua, No Hay Vida

Last night we finally got around to watching the first two episodes of Planet Earth, the mind-blowingly well-done series of nature films by the BBC, all filmed in high definition and with the most incredibly complex camerawork I have ever seen. (The snow leopard scenes brought tears to my eyes, and once it started snowing, I was a mess.)

We watched it en espanol, which turned out to be a great idea: It has slow, simple narration in verb tenses we know pretty well (present and simple past), so we never felt miserably lost as we do when we watch most TV in Spanish. And many animals have very similar names in both idiomas: caribou, impala, leopardo,…

A few key vocabulary words that I really enjoyed learning (or re-remembering, as is so often the case for me) while watching La Planeta Tierra:

Arctic stuff:
las focas — seals
los polos — the poles (as in north pole and south pole)
las hojas — leaves
baja tierra — underground
cachorros — pups, for many species
reservas de grasa — fat reserves

Forest stuff:
las girasoles – daisies
las ardillas — squirrels
rayos del sol — sunlight, rays of sunshine
la energia del sol — sun’s energy
los monos — monkeys
los insectos — insects

Watery stuff:
los tiburones — sharks
grande blanco tiburones — great white sharks
las nubladas — clouds

Desert stuff:
huracanes de harina — dust storm (harina is more like flour, but you get the idea)
peligrosos tormentos de polvo — dust storm (polvo is dust and any fine substance)

Stuff that struck me as funny:
unico huevo – one unique egg, as in the penguin’s single egg each year
un banquete por todos los animales – a banquet for all the animals
un epoca de abundancia – an era of adundance
padres dedicados – dedicated dads (about a type of fish)
los monos no le gustan el agua — the monkey’s don’t like the water, said as a group of monkeys hesitantly, if not prissily, waded through water
empieza el ataque — the attack begins, said each time a predator pounced on some prey

Not so funny:
no dura mucho — won’t last long, in reference to ever-shrinking ice caps
el futuro de la especie -- future of the species. In many cases, bleak.

Joy Interviews Self on One Year in Mexico!

Joy in Taxco, Mexico.

Joy and her husband Brendan moved to Mexico City exactly one year ago today. In an exclusive interview with El Blog de Joy, she shares some of the things she’s learned over the past year…and what she’s looking forward to as she continues her Mexican misadventures…(to read previous interviews on Joy’s life in Mexico, go here and here.)

Q: So, a year already in Mexico City. How does it feel?
A: It went by really damn fast, actually. But, looking back, it has been an incredible year. I know so much that I didn’t know one year ago.

Q: Like…Spanish?
A: Well, sort of. After spending my first six months aggressively trying to learn espanol, I sort of got lazy and gave up. The huzzband and I reached a certain level of competency — like ordering food in restaurants and bossing taxi drivers around — and lost interest. I should point out: I quickly lose interest in things I’m not naturally good at, and I’m definitely not a natural at learning new languages in my early 30s.

Q: Que triste! You’re such an American, you mean?
A: Exactly. Almost all of my new friends here in Mexico City speak at least two languages. Many speak four or five — a talent I can’t fathom. How do they remember all those words? How do they keep it all straight in their heads? Amazing. I’ll never be like that, because I grew up a monolingual American.

That said, though, I do have to keep in mind that I work in English all day — editing in English, no less — and so there’s no real impetus for me to learn advanced Spanish. If I had no job, and no internet, I’d be learning a lot more.  We’ve created a little English cocoon for ourselves, and it’s quite warm and lovely and hard to leave.

Charlie enjoys the benches in Parque Mexico, Condesa.

Q: Well, beyond remedial Spanish, what else have you learned?
A: The exhilaration and exasperation of living in a foreign country. New York City was a bit like living abroad, and then I moved to Mexico City and learned what it’s really like. I’m proud of myself for being willing to do it — to chuck most of my former life out the window — and proud of myself for choosing to live in an urban neighborhood without a car, where I live a very fun life not unlike NYC, but far more Mexican. I have met too many Americans here who shelter themselves out in the ‘burbs, behind walled compounds, driving giant SUVs. I’m glad we were bold enough to live in a really cool area.

A kid dressed up for Dia de Guadalupe.

Q: What’s been the hardest thing to deal with?
A: Besides not learning Spanish as easily as I would have liked, the lack of traveling. We spend most of our time like most Americans — working hard, surviving the daily grind. We just happen to be doing it in Mexico City. I had envisioned a very romantic version of life here, one that involved metric tons of sunscreen and margaritas.

…and, well, food poisoning sucks, too. Salmonella truly feels like your stomach is being eaten alive by a rapidly multiplying, pissed off organism — and all you can do is vomit, or worse. And my dog, Charlie, has even been sick. I really wish Mexico could make safe water a national priority. These are the things you learn living abroad — clean tap water is not a God-given right for most people in the world.

Q: Excellent point. Back to the traveling….reading over some of your blog posts, it does seem like you’ve traveled quite a bit?
A: For sure, but it’s never enough. You could say I’m addicted to it. I live in Mexico City, fergodssakes. I can’t get enough. We squeeze in weekend trips whenever we can, and we’ve got a long Mexican trip coming up in December – a road trip through Oaxaca!

Q: What’s been your favorite trip over the past year?
A: I actually appreciate the U.S. more than I ever did before, so the trips back to the places we call home — New York City, Corpus Christi, Texas, Minnesota/Wisconsin — those trips home were really some of my favorites. I drink from water fountains in the U.S. simply because I can.

So far, I am not sad to return to Mexico City as our headquarters. I figure once I am not happy to come back here, then it’s time to go “home” — where ever that is!

A man sells roasted corn in the floating gardens of Xochimilco.

I also want to stress to everyone who hasn’t traveled to the “real” Mexico to do so. Cancun doesn’t count. Neither does the border. Traveling into the interior, away from the tourist resorts and the border — it’s a whole ‘nuther word. The Aztec influence becomes overwhelming here in the “heartland” (popote, totopos, aguacate, jitomate, chocolate, elote, cacahuate, etc) And farther south, the Mayan influence is impressive (huracan, Kukulcan, Oxcutzcab). I can’t wait to visit Oaxaca and learn about the many cultures there, I’ve heard there are at least 60 different languages and related dialects still being spoken there, such as Mixtexa and Zapotec.

Posing in front of yet another beautiful Mayan ruin in the Yucatan, in 2004.

In reality, my favorite part of Mexico is a place I visited before I moved here: the Yucatan. We did a week-long road trip across the peninsula, and I still think about that trip almost every day. The ruins, the turquoise water, the jungles, the underground pools, the Mayan people…it was all like a dream.

Q: Let’s do some stream of consciousness chatting here. Food?
A: Arrachera steak, michelada cervezas, mangos chilados, hot chocolate, pan de elote, crab taquitos, pescado de tlacotlapeno (or something like that). fresh tropical fruit out the wazoo, tacos al pastor (OMG – TACOS AL PASTOR), cochinita pibil, cecina, salchichas, chiles en nogada, tepache, agua de jamaica, paletas de mamey…and exercising more than I ever have to enjoy all these culinary luxuries.

Joy in front of the Aztec Templo Mayor.

Q: Travel?
A: Watching bad dubbed movies on the bus, staring at ‘cactus trees’, dancing in the plaza in Tlaxcala, feeling woozy on a poorly planned booze cruise in Puerto Vallarta, watching telenovelas with our host family in Cuernavaca, eating carnitas at the world’s largest Mexican restaurant in Tlalpan, shopping for sugar skulls in Toluca, touring the anthropology museum with Mom, Dad and Dora, laughing with Bob and Martie as an impromptu parade in Xochimilco blocked our vehicle, getting lost in the rental car only a few miles from our house, drinking pulque and mezcal, listening to fireworks where ever we go, falling in love with NYC all over again.

Q: Mexico City?

A: Amazing! More fun and more international than I expected, full of adventures, beauty and ultimately, chaos. No more polluted than New York City, but far more enormous.

Our self-portrait.

Q: Friends?
A: Gratitude! Dominoes! Well-earned hangovers! (I have to say, the best thing about living here in Mexico City has been making so many new, wonderful friends! And the hardest part is watching them move away. Ah, the ex-pat life.)

Q: Finally, what’s the weather like? We know this is a favorite topic of yours.

A: Today is perfect, like most days. A few of the trees are beginning to lose their leaves, just to remind you that in certain parts of the world, it will be very cold very soon. But not here. It will still be perfect.

Te Presento a Lila Downs

Lila Downs peforming, by Flickr user Marcellina.

One of the pleasures of living in Mexico is being immersed in its music — and lately, I’ve had the pleasure of not only seeing Julieta Venegas in concert, but now also Lila Downs.  Lila, who grew up in both Oaxaca and St. Paul, Minnesota (I can’t even imagine….), writes songs in both English and Spanish. Her musical tastes run the gamut from traditional ranchera music to alt-country-blues-rock. (She opened with a cover of “Black Magic Woman” and even played a Spanish translation of “I Envy the Wind” by Lucinda Williams).

Like Julieta, Lila is a virtuoso, playing many instruments throughout her show. But her strongest talent is her voice — she has a vocal range that puts Mariah Carey to shame. Last night she played in Mexico City’s ornate Teatro Metropolitana and we had the luck of sitting in the third row.

This was the first concert I went to where many women in the audience wore traditional Mexican clothing, likely inspired by Lila, who wears the most beautiful Oaxacan dresses I’ve ever seen. Even if you don’t understand much Spanish, I recommended seeing a Lila concert  — you won’t be disappointed by her energy, fabulous bilingual songs and elaborate set (hanging trees with their roots exposed). At the very least, you’ll have your soul cleansed by the traditional Aztec healers offering “limpias” before the show out in the lobby.

And yes, if you’re thinking “she reminds me of Frida Kahlo,” you’re onto something:

Joy Goes to Zumba Class: ‘Exercise that’s a Party’

Zumba is basically Latin Dance aerobics. Cumbia, salsa, calypso, reggaeton, and some hip-hop/jazz/disco moves, too. I never twisted my torso so much in one hour. It was FUN!

Fortunately, I was not the lame gringa, and was able to keep up with my peers in class. And everyone was sweating and panting. But one profound difference between me and my Mexican dancemates? They stay tan, and I turn red. I kept joking “estoy como un jitomate!!!” so they didn’t worry that I was going to pass out in the middle of a back-step.

For a more visual explanation, watch this video. (I love the Midwestern accents in this “Today Show” profile of zumba — hilarious to yo, who attends zumba class in Mexico and must keep up with all the espanol!).

And here’s just a straight up workout (that’s bilingual! yay!), if you’d like to give it a try…(I struggled most with the spinny move they do at 1 min 40 seconds into the video.)

Julieta!

We saw one of Mexico’s most fantastic musicians last night, Julieta Venegas, who puts on a great show.

I especially enjoyed her duet with special guests, like Juan Son. Sometimes compared to Bjork, he’s quite the creative one (he wore a big shirt that looked like a giant slice of pizza and ran on stage late, fiddling with his microphone.)

She also played with Natalia Lafourcade, who didn’t dress like a duck onstage, but you can see the video regardless:

The Grocery List, a la Mexicana

As I was lugging home groceries today, I made a mental note to blog about it. A year ago, I would have taken a look at these foodstuffs and been like whaaaa? (OK, so I still sort of do that — especially with nopales. It’s that gooey aloe vera texture that gets to me.)

Today I came home with

• caldo de tlalpeno
• elote con rajas
• nopales
• chayote
• mangos
• limones

Note to Self: You Can Order Jugo de Sandia – What Else Do You Need?

(My delicious jugo de sandia that I had with my lunch today.)

I live in two worlds each day: My English world (work, husband, a few friends) and my Spanish world (all errands, tasks, and daily living stuff). The transition is sometimes painful (a nasty mix of Spanglish sometimes comes streaming out of my mouth, before I can stop it) and sometimes delightful (discussing muñecas with an 8-year-old in the park who fell in love with Charlie, mi cucharrito.)

I constantly beat myself up for not knowing enough Spanish, or not using it enough. I forget, often, how my day goes, how I navigate around my neighborhood listening and speaking espanol without much effort. True, it’s not very advanced stuff — I’m not discussing the government’s recent decision to freeze prices of basic food items, but I’m at least getting shit done. Con una sonrisa.

Today, I took a lunch break and did the following, all in mi mundo de español.

- Fui a la tintorería (dry cleaners) y dejé mucha ropa. (Las van a estar listas el sabado!). Yo bromé con la dueña de tintorería sobre mi nombre. (Diciendo “Joy” es imposible para los Mexicanos.)
- Hice un reservation en el restaurante (Dude, hacer kills me. Check out all the ways you can conjugate this damn verb.)
- Retiré efectivo del ATM
- Mandé comida rapida, y mientra que esperé, leí un artículo de noticias sobre de los jitomates con salmonella y del calentamiento del planeta
- Tambien, vi un cartel en el parque sobre una fiesta “México-Israel” con comida, musica y regalitos – el proximo Domingo!

Remember: Don’t Break the Diphthongs!

On Friday night, after returning from a 7-day full Spanish immersion program in nearby Cuernavaca, I did one thing: sleep like a baby who just finished the longest temper tantrum of her life.

It’s been, oh, a good 8 years since I was in any sort of formal classroom setting on a regular basis, and wow, I didn’t miss it. I’ve occasionally thought about going back to school for a graduate degree, and this pretty much solidified my conviction that no mames, I’m not going back. I like the working world too much, since it’s highly unlikely that on an average Monday, I’m not going to be yelled at by teachers for breaking diphthongs or for forgetting the present progressive tense of the “helping” verb haber. I also don’t ever have homework.

That’s not to say I didn’t enjoy immersion. I really did. Before we left, I would have put my fluency at about 10%. Now it’s up to 25%. While that means I still have 75% of the language to go, it only took one week of immersion to get me from 10 to 25%, while it took six months of weekly tutoring (two classes at night) to get me from 0 to 10%.

Going back to school at 31 years old had the added dream-like strangeness of my spouse sitting next to me the entire time. We tested in the same level, so we were in every single class together, and because we stayed with a local family, and had no transportation or much spare time or freedom at all, we spent basically every moment of the entire 7 days right next to each other — and I mean shoulder-to-shoulder right next to each other.

Which, most of the time, was a good thing, except when I patted him on the back (forgetting we were sitting in a classroom) or, conversely, scolded him for not knowing common verbs like deber. (“What?!? How could you not know that?” I chided him, followed by laughter from our classmates.)

Of course, now that I’m back to living in Mexico City, and working most of the day editing documents in English, I’ve probably dropped down to 18% (and counting) fluency. Vamos a ver, I guess.

Some highlights of the immersion:

• Going on a tour with other students to the ruins of Xochicalco and fake smiling when the other students (mostly undergrad college students) mentioned how rare it was for them to hang out with people “our age.”
• Watching telenovelas with our host family each night. The language was basic enough that we could follow along, and the plotlines were hilarious enough that we kept wanting to watch.
• Grinning and bearing it as the family’s abuelita referred to us as “los gueros.”
• Getting in really dumb arguments about when to use por versus para.
• Listening to funny stories from one of our teachers, Raul, who taught both the Shah of Iran and Leona Helmsley (former Cuernavaca residents.) He said the Shah was rather stupid, and that Leona only wanted to learn the command forms of the verbs, as in “callate.” (Shut up!)
• Placing imaginary “estrellas de oro” on Brendan’s forehead when he won an argument.
• Learning to use “no mames” y “guey“ more naturally.
• Sweating the entire week, since air conditioning seems to be a foreign concept in Cuernavaca, even though the climate is like Houston on a July day.
• Attending a music class and belting out “La Paloma Blanca” and “Besame, Besame Mucho“

And, as normal in Mexico, we saw pretty things, like the town of Tepoztlan:

And we saw weird things, like this tree growing into a building at the Hacienda de Cortes:

And pretty weird things, like this toilet:

For more photos of our week in Cuernavaca, go here.

Hopefully, I’ll Learn Something, If Not A Lot

From Saturday to Saturday of this coming week, Brendan and I will be in Cuernavaca for a week of full Spanish immersion. We’re staying with a local family, and we’ll have 6 hours of formal Spanish instruction/conversation each day.

I have high hopes for immersion — probably way too high. Most native English speakers I know who are  now bilingual went to weeks and weeks (if not months and months or years and years) of immersion before reaching fluency. Sigh. Being a working couple, we can’t really practically do that. Long gone are the days of having more than one week to do anything that doesn’t involve work.

One of the hardest things I’ve ever tried to do in my entire life is learn a new language. While incredibly good for me, lordy, I wish I had learned these things as a child. So if you’ve got young’uns, don’t wait until high school: When it comes to learning languages, the earlier, the better. They’ll thank you later, as they set off to explore new countries and new cultures with a second language under their belt. Adult brains just aren’t wired to be as receptive to new patterns of thinking, hearing, reading and speaking.

Awkward Yet Fabulous Mexico City Bonus: Having a Maid

Before we lived in Mexico, we never had “help.” Now we have Pati, who cleans the apartment twice a week. She basically came with the apartment — we moved in and she showed up several hours later (she cleans for our landlady). We hired her on the spot. How could we not? Why would we not?

In Mexico, “help” is a pervasive part of the societal layer, many people have maids, drivers, gardeners, nannies and more. It took me awhile, but I’ve gotten used to it. I hope I will never not have a cleaning lady ever again. Besides the absence of filth, I love the little things she does, too. Like finding my belts – typically thrown haphazardly into a drawer – neatly curled up and placed on a shelf in my closet. Ah, there’s such serenity in cleanliness and order.

As much as I love this new part of my life, it’s also the oddest relationship I’ve ever had.

This woman, this tiny, sweet little woman, knows everything about us that can be known without needing to know English. Like what underwear we wore since she last visited (she does all our laundry), if we ate pancakes for breakfast (she does the dishes) and if I bought new shampoo (she scrubs the shower).

Because she’s doing a job I would never want to do, I try to show her as much respect as possible. We pay her when we go on vacation, and I let her have flexible hours since she has a 5-year-old son who has lots of school activities.

I also spend a lot of time thinking about how odd she must find us. We own carpeted steps so our dog can jump up on the bed. In my home office, I spend long hours on conference calls, only speaking every few minutes (think about how odd that would appear if you didn’t know what was going on behind the scenes), and I own three different types of hair conditioner.

And I spend a lot of time worrying I might do something culturally offensive or stupid, and she won’t realize that I’m just ignorant.  There’s plenty of little awkward moments, like the time she said she was hot after she finished ironing, and I thought she was talking about the weather. But, she’s been around since November, and so far, so good. She’s also been great for my Spanish.

Tuesday was a particularly good day. She brought me two Oaxacan scarves/shawls as “un regalito” (a little gift). I was so relieved, not only because I like them (one is pink, the other black, both very cute and wearable) but because it means she likes me. She handed them over with a giant smile.

Whew.

Several Months Later: Joy Interviews Self Again on Life in Mexico

Joy Victory is the author of the blog The Blog of Joy as well as Squirrels, Squirrels, Squirrels. We sat down with her (again) recently to hear how she is enjoying her new life in Mexico City.

Q: So, it’s been a few months since we last chatted. Que tal?

A: We’re no longer in corporate housing! While I miss the free breakfast every morning, I don’t miss living out of my suitcase or using the low wattage hair dryer. I know, it’s rough being me. But, truthfully, while moving abroad is something I think all people should do, it’s thoroughly exhausting, which is probably why not everyone does it.

Q: What’s your new place like?

A: Thanks for asking — it’s great. The last time I lived in a place this big I was still living with my parents. I hesitate to say that was 12 frigging years ago. We’ve got a terrific view of the park and our neighborbood, La Condesa. While it’s not perfect — the hot water heater only supplies about 10 minutes of a really hot shower — it’s very comfortable and pretty. We’re still in the process of furnishing the place, but we’re getting there.

Q: Traveled anywhere new?

A: Yes. Wal-Mart.

Q: Oh, I meant, you know, somewhere exciting.

A: Oh, sorry. Yes, here.

Q: (Opens link and is indeed impressed). OK, well, then. Nice waterfall…. Last time we sat down with you said your favorite things in Mexico were the weather and that it’s not the U.S. And that your least favorite things were earthquakes and crime and smog. Anything changed since you said that?

A: Well, the fresh fruit is now at the top of my list. Everyday is a delicious new food experience, and that never gets old. I HEART MANGOS, in other words. Crime-earthquakes-smog — these guys I still don’t like, although it’s still in theory, since I haven’t been bothered by them (yet — *heartily knocking on wood*). What I’d add to the dislike list is the rude drivers. Thankfully, in this neighborhood, they’re not that bad — meaning, they don’t seem to accelerate when you try to cross the street, as if they desperately want to run you over and make Joy Pudding out of you. But in some neighborhoods, I feel very much like I’m in trapped in the most difficult level of Frogger.

Q: Ouch. Look both ways, OK? How’s the dog — Carlito? — handling things?

A: Good. We bought him a new type of dog food and he’s gained at least a pound. For a 14-pound dog, it’s dramatic. He seems about the same, really. I love all the affection he gets from Mexicans — “oy, que guapo,” “que bonito” and “que lindo” are just a few of the compliments he gets. I need to learn how to say “yeah, but he’s not so lindo when he’s vomiting on your floor” en espanol. We also had our first trip to the veterinarian, where we learned that fleas means “pulgas. ” We’ve also been to the groomers twice, and somehow, even with my mangled espanol, Charlie still gets a terrific haircut. (I half expect them to hand him over with his hair dyed blue, because that’s what I unknowingly asked for. Trust me, stranger things have happened to us here.) Walking him home after his grooming appointment is a bit like walking him down the fashion runway, people ooh and ahh.

Q: Since you mention it, how’s the espanol coming along?

A: Estoy aprendiendo espanol poco a poco. And I really mean poco a poco. Most days I learn at least one new vocabulary word, but sometimes I forget a few, too. So it often feels like one step forward, one step back. I often think that if I wasn’t working all day in English, and instead totally immersed in the espanol, I’d finally progress to Chapter Two of my textbook. I also worry that any visitors who come see us will be shocked at how little I actually know. I almost have the past tense down, but then there’s all those god-awful irregular verbs.

Q: One of your most popular blog posts recently was about “weird Mexico City moments.” Got any new ones?

A: Yes. Yesterday I saw a man peddling a 10-speed bike on the sidewalk in front of a restaurant – but he wasn’t going anywhere. I noticed his wheels were actually elevated off the ground a bit, like an exercise bike. Then I noticed he was using the bike to power a knife sharpener on the handlebars. So, he’s apparently the neighborhood knife sharpener. Claro!

Also, I’ve taken many, many photos of my dog, but I never thought I’d get the chance to photograph him on top of a zebra:

(Charlie enjoying a dog treat in full luxury in Taxco, Mexico. Before the pulgas got him!)

What the Spanish Textbooks Don’t Tell You: Casi Todo

My huzzband and I own at least seven Spanish textbooks and CDs and subscribe to one Spanish podcast. Two were written and published in the U.S. for American college students, the rest were written and published in Mexico for visiting college students. Not surprisingly, the latter are better because they are entirely in Spanish from page one — no instructions in English, ever.

However, when you move to Mexico City with only the most remedial of Spanish speaking skills, like we did, you learn quite quickly that neither type of textbook (U.S. or Mexican made) addresses the needs of expats. They are useful, of course, but only to a point — I didn’t really need to learn all the vocabulary for classrooms and schools, but I know it anyway, thanks to my dumb books, which all focus on that in the first chapter. (I will admit that all our Spanish textbooks are still way superior to my high school German textbook, which wasted an entire chapter on gummy bears. Or, das Gummibärchen!)

Por ejemplo. After living in our apartment for more than two months, I finally got around to hanging our pictures on the walls. I waited this long partly out of sheer laziness and exhaustion — moving to a foreign country, while still working almost full-time, is thoroughly exhausting (I am so tired right now I can’t even think of another word for exhaustion.) Anyhoodles, I hung a few pictures yesterday but soon used up our supply of nails we brought with us.

So, that meant, damn: Time for another self-taught lesson you’ll never find in the textbooks — Going to the Hardware Store.

Lesson One: Own a really big dictionary that has all the oh-so-useful words that “pocket-size” English-Spanish dictionaries don’t have.

Lesson Two: Then create the expected conversation in your head before you leave the apartment (“Hola, buenos tardes, necessito …nails?!”)

Lesson Three: Yep, here’s where you use the dictionary. Nails is clavos en espanol. And, for the record, unlike in English, clavos does not mean both nails for hammering and nails on your fingers. The latter are unas.

Lesson Four: Head into the unknown, in this case, the ferreteria.

Joy: “Hola, buenos tardes, necessito clavos….Como este” (I hold my thumb and forefinger apart about 20 centimeters to indicate needed size.)

Vendedor: “Por concreto o paredes?”

Joy: “Si, paredes.” (I only know paredes means walls because we recently embarked on another adventure the textbooks never cover: house painting. Whew — a potential awkward situation thwarted, and a sign I’m actually learning espanol!).

Vendedor shuffled around, found nails. Handed me one that’s the right size, but pretty stout. Uh-oh….Time to think on my feet.

Joy: “Hmmm…tiene clavos….mas delgado?”

Vendedor: “No.” (And an unsympathetic no at that.)

Joy. “Oh. Esta bien. Cinco, por favor. Cuantos?”

Vendedor: “Cinco pesos.”

Joy: “Gracias, y hasta luego.”

If you’re still awake after reading that, you see what I mean by mundane. Yet important. And nowhere in my 7 Spanish textbooks.

Say Cuauhtémoc Three Times Fast, Then Cry Out of Frustration

When you move from the U.S. to Mexico City, along with learning Spanish, you must also learn some basic pronunciation tools for Nahuatl, the language of the Aztecs. It’s still spoken by about 1.5 million people in central Mexico (according to Wikipedia) and it’s presence is everywhere here in the capital city.

After the Spanish first arrived, they found Nahuatl pronunciation perplexing and, for example, quickly renamed the ruling Aztec king from Motecuhzoma to Montezuma. Poco a poco, espanol became the most widely spoken language in Mexico. Still, though Nahuatl slyly made its way into Spanish, English, and other languages, helped in part by the fact that no Spanish words existed for the many new things the conquistadors encountered in Mexico, such as chocolate, tomato, coyote, avocado, chili and mesquite. And, of course, Mexico itself — mexihco. (In fact, the Aztecs called themselves the Mexica.)

Those are the easy words, though, and are of course not written in their true dialect. Most are long, winding tongue twisters. For example, the city is divided into delegaciones, similar to counties. Many of these have long Nahuatl names:

• Azcapotzalco
• Coyoacán
• Cuauhtémoc
• Iztacalco
• Iztapalapa
• Xochimilco

Our particular neighborhood, La Condesa, is located in Cuauhtemoc. Until last night, I had no frackin’ clue how to say that word. It took about 15 minutes of repeated pronunciation drills with my Spanish tutor to get it down.

Finally, she and I both wrote it down, in our own phonetic styles, to help me learn:

Me: coo-ow-tay-moc (moc like the moc in mocha)

Her: kuauh-te-moc

So I wouldn’t forget it, I’ve said it about 1,000 times more today, and at some point, I’m worried all this chanting might actually summon the spirit of Cuauhtémoc, who was the last and final Aztec ruler, and who unlike one of his predecessors, Motecuhzoma, he bravely fought back, and is beloved by Mexicans still today.

If he did materialize in my living room, the scene would look something like this.

Watching “Los Simpsons” in Mexico City Is Fun

So, just like back in NYC, we get to watch the Simpsons on Fox on Sunday nights. The show is dubbed in Spanish, but the voices are similar — Marge still has her strangled whine and Ned’s got his nasal singsong — yet the whole thing feels slightly off kilter, like watching a pirated DVD, albeit a very funny one.

The show, in some ways, is better for me in Mexico; the antics of Homer (who is called Homero here) seem so perfectly random because I can’t fully understand what he’s saying, and I notice far more of the physical humor from all the characters. I also never realized how often Maggie is shown clinging desperately to Marge.

But, lo and behold, I feel infinitely cool when I do understand a joke. Ahem, por ejemplo, tonight they showed Bart playing a video game that pitted Rocky the boxer against the woman in the old ’80s Wendy’s commercial who said “Where’s the Beef?”

Or, “Donde es la carne?”

I know that seems really basic, but two months ago, I would have taken pause at that, translated it in my head, and then laughed. Tonight, it didn’t even take me a split-second to get it. Poco a poco, I’m able to do that more these days. (But we’re talking very, very poco a poco.)

Also, the Mundo Fox web site has a great Simpsons section, complete with pretty awesome e-postcards, or estampitas.

Another Skill Mastered: Getting Pizza Delivered in Mexico City

Tonight, I successfully — and yes, somewhat painfully — ordered a pizza from Papa John’s, while Brendan sat next to me, giggling at my bad Spanish. We lucked out — it was two-fer-one night, too, and so we got dos pizzas, talla grande.

Also, earlier today, we successfully purchased a mattress, refrigerator and washer/dryer from a furniture store. To be delivered next weekend. Como miraculoso!