God, How I Hate “Skinny Jeans”

Skinny jeans are very hot right now. What are they? Basically, jeans that are skin-tight from waist to ankle. Only a very small (literally and figuratively — oh! — no pun intended) proportion of the female population can pull off this look. Sadly, many of them live here in Manhattan, so I’m subjected to this look constantly.

Here’s how the skinny jean look is suppposed to fit. Cute, right? But here’s how it usually ends up looking. That is how I would look in them.

*Sobbing*

And I’m finding this to be the problem with all current fashion trends. (Examples? Oh, the god-awful fluffy-sleeved tops and mini-dresses). Instead of being slimming and flattering, they emphasize all that’s wrong with me. If I actually wore these trends outside of the dressing room, they would cause people to wonder if I’m in the family way.

So, as a result, I’m becoming very circa ’00, in my boot-cut, low-rise jeans and boatneck tees. I did finally move past chunky heels to flats, though. It’s hard to make my feet look fat, I guess. But I’m sure some designer will find a way.

26 thoughts on “God, How I Hate “Skinny Jeans”

  1. DKN says:

    Hahaha! re “I’m sure some designer will find away”

    Yeah, I hate these looks, too. Especially the skinny jeans. Even on skinny chicks I find them horrifying. There’s just no room for error.

  2. dregina says:

    Now, the peasanty shirts that are big right now have been wonderful for me, because I am tall, and shirts are never, ever long enough for me. So I’ve been loving that trend. But. The skinny jean? WTF. Everyone hates them. Did you know that at the same time that skinny jeans came out, GAP stopped making their curvy bootcut jeans? It’s a conspiracy.

  3. nancy says:

    Skinny jeans have invaded Mexico City too! When will this fad end? What’s worse is men in skinny jeans. Fashion gods please help us normal women find nice clothes.

  4. Ellsee says:

    I hate skinny jeans but unfortunately it’s not just the female population that are wearing them it’s also the male population to. :O …. I hate seeing fit guys in skinny jeans, it just makes them look so feminim and ugly and AHHH where have all the men gone!!! .. They’re all going really skinny to fit in with the skinny jean phenomena! Plus they don’t even fit into them properly, there’s one guy in my college who wears skinny jeans and his whole arse is hanging out showing the world his boxers, which aren’t that nice, also another guy in my college who also wearing the skinny jeans, he can’t even d o up his zipper because if he did it would squash his balls!
    Sorry for that rant there, I just wish men would look like men again, wearing nice jeans that make their butt look hot and not cut off its blood flow! Thanks for listening 🙂 hehe

  5. Lolli says:

    My 90 year old aunt still wears a rockin’ 1950’s puffy updo. She likes it, so im happy for her. I imagine when the rest of the world went on to crazy ideas, like the fact that aeresol was bad, she just decided to stick with the style she felt good in. You realize that deciding to permanently look like a boho from the TV show “Blossom” you are following in her footsteps? Not that there is anything wrong with that. Your nice flattering flared jeans and fitted t shirts are going to make people very nostalgic. Real women will be wearing skinny jeans for quite a while, or at least wide leg/no flare. Just why do you thinkfabric around the ankle makes you look better anyways. All it does is look sloppy.

  6. Coco says:

    Sadly, as much as I wish it weren’t so, I agree with Lolli. However, skinny jeans look good on noone (except Kate Moss).

    I haven’t been able to bring myself to even venture out of the changing room with them on, let alone onto the street. I know my bootleg jeans are a no-no but they look so much better on me than skinny jeans, no matter how many times I try to give them another go, and no matter how many different types I try.

    I think in my case, wearing daggy jeans is far more acceptable than wearing skinny leg jeans so I might just try to ride this fashion out and get by on my charm til jeans that most people actually do want to wear and look good in come back in.

    And by the way, it’s not just larger girls who can’t pull off skinny jeans – I am a size XS, or UK 4 / USA 2.

  7. Chiro says:

    Aherm. I’m about 5’11 and am into the whole ‘looking proportionate’ style-therefore, flare jeans, etc. Considering that I sport ACTUAL womanly features, such as breasts bigger than bubble wrap bubbles and hips with some actual shape to them, I resent all the bad press that girls who DON’T like skinny jeans have gotten. I hate them. I can live without them. I’d rather burn them over wood in my fire place and help save the rain forest. Yes, yes I would. I’ve tried dozens of them, all different brands, and none fit the bill. They make me look like a double wide trailer coming down a single lane road, or a watermelon balancing on a stick. I read in an online blog that if you wanted to look like a fat circus midget, you should put on a pair of skinny jeans. Personally, I think they make me look like Steve Urkel trying to bring sexy back the way they cut me off at the ankles and ride low all at the same time. I feel like I’ve stepped through a wash’n rinse cycle with the optional dry and my pants have shrunk while worn. They are disgusting abominations birthed by washed up designers and hand raised into media frenzy by anorexic models with bodies of ten year old pre-pubescent girls and the perverted magazines that show case them like prized bookshelf figurines.

    You know we live in a morbid world when you have to be unhealthy to fit into the only ‘style’ of clothing general clothing stores sell. Mind you, not everybody lives in large cities overflowing with the bounties of diverse outlets. What you get in your high gloss fashion store in New York, Los Angeles, Paris, or even Tokyo trickles down to smaller towns and their less-than-glamorous chain stores. Your diversity has turned into our monogamous relationship with the skinny jean rack. At every stores entrance they should place a small metal outline of a woman’s figure-like the box outline at airports-that says if you’re bigger than this, you must check-in your extra baggage out front near the loading dock. Right now, I live in a horrible nightmare of Skinny Jean fashion.

    The stores in my city sell nothing but skinny jeans and boot cut. I attempted to ask a sales clerk to assist me in finding some flare jeans. She nodded and started sifting through the piles of clothing with me. Finally she chuckled and help up a pair saying “Here you go!” and merrily went on her way. Pleased that one was found in my size, I made my way to the dressing room. As I put them on-or attempted to-the entire store was engulfed in a blood drenching scream that sounded like Armageddon had begun. What was all the fuss? Oh, nothing much.. Those flare jeans were skinny jeans. All I could repeat to myself was “What kind of sick, SICK, person would do that? Why….” Woe is me. Flare is no longer flare, provided you are here, not there. Now the differences between skinny, boot leg, and flare are millimeters.

    I sincerely wish that stores would respect the abundant differences in the figures of women. In the modern world we live in today, you’d think there was a store that tailored to every woman’s size and fashion needs and was still sanely affordable. Wrong, they’d rather make you suffer, call you fat, and then read in the Sunday paper how the suicide rate is increasing. If all the flesh off my bones was stripped away, my boney ass wouldn’t fit into a size five. What are they going to tell me next? Your skeleton is obese because it can’t fit into skinny jeans and look good? I won’t doubt that theory yet. If you want to dress like a loose woman with painted on clothing, feel free. I could hardly care less what you do with your body. What I dislike is other people’s ideals of what I should look like and what the rest of women as a whole should look and dress like. In conclusion, like what you like, wear what you want-hell, if you really want, don’t wear anything at all! Be considerate of what other people like to wear (..yes, that’s after I just ran skinny jeans into the ground with my rant. Haha.) and don’t try to force your views of how the world should turn on others. Skinny jeans are being beaten into the ground because women are tired of ‘normal’ being the new ‘fat’. Women who are just themselves are tired, SICK AND TIRED, of having to constantly play catch-up with the fashion world. There’s a reason it’s called the ‘fashion world’ and not the ‘realistic world’. You don’t have to be fat to look bad in skinny jeans, and you don’t have to be skinny to hate flare or boot cut.

  8. Alicia says:

    I PERSONALLY PREFER SKINNY JEANS. In Sweden(which is where I live and originate from), most young people, or the “trendy” people wear skinny jeans. Of course, when you wear a few extra pounds(or perhaps an exessive amount), your legs will look like fat sausages and you will obtain the ‘muffin effect’ a.k.a. ones belly to pop out of their jeans resembling a baked muffin. That is the con of the situation. The pro is that most people in Sweden are skinny/slender/slim anyways (Swedes tend to run a very healthy life(YAY)), so not many really has that problem over here^^ yet we do have our casual chubby being who should never purchase a pair of skinny jeans in ANY SIZE for the good of their self-confidence. Unfortunately, the skinny jeans trend has invaded many communities in other areas of the world. Some areas which… well let’s just say is inhabited by people who don’t care what they put into their bodies. The skinny jean trend will never look good on a person who is fat. That sounds very harsh, but I only speak the truth… It seems that I have coasted away from my original purpose of commenting. I LOVE SKINNY JEANS. They are very trendy, very comfortable(for me atleast), and they look fabulous. Before I would buy flare jeans(a long time ago), and now I realise I never once looked as good in them compared to what I look like with skinny jeans. Even the younger generation is wearing skinny jeans here in Sweden ranging from first graders to highschool pupils. I (in 8th grade…which would be 9th grade in america) also have many friends and schoolmates who only wear skinny jeans. So there… I have spoken my opinion. 😀

  9. yuki says:

    personally, i think everyone can pull it off. just pair them with high heels, wedges or boots to balance everything out. if you’re a bit bottom heavy then don’t wear with flats because you’ll look more curvier. it’s just balancing things out.

  10. Marian says:

    I too enjoy skinny jeans, though at this point I must admit that after wearing them for so long, anything looser would just be plain uncomfortable. That and they make skateboarding that much easier. But I agree that not everyone should be forced into wearing unflattering-clone fashion just because they can’t find anything else. And Alicia…please. Go do your homework honey.

  11. Jessica says:

    I, for one, love skinny jeans, and dont really understand why people hate them so much. If you dont like them, dont wear them, stop complaining about it. Also, I love how skinny jeans look when you wear them the style Kelly Clarkson does. and just to add on, I am too in 8th grade. but i have hips and curves, and still look good in skinny jeans. People just need to get the right size.

  12. Alicia says:

    14/15 years old already HAVE grown into their womanly body just to add on :). Well, it truly depends on the individual… but most have. Well… That I know of. Hell, I have some friends who are already starting to resemble Pamela Anderson! It’s kinda scary… 🙂 🙂

  13. richard says:

    whats wrong if a skinny guy wears skinny jeans im 16 and i particularly like the skinny jean look its true that it “doesnt look good in most ppl”) but its better then those ghetto ass shirts and those overly sized jeans ppl used to where.

  14. Alex says:

    @richard: USED to wear? Everyone in my school wears baggy jeans. As a guy, I also prefer skinny jeans (on girls and myself). I get a lot of shit for it, as it’s an unaccepted trend for guys, but I still don’t stop wearing them.

  15. Cassie says:

    @ Alex, 80% of guys I see out and about are thankfully wearing skinny leg jeans rather than those disgusting “ghetto” jeans. Maybe the trend for guys hasn’t reached there properly yet?

    And I think Kelly Clarkson not looking good there is just the angle. Regardless, I think they suit many female body types as long as you don’t have saddlebag thighs or stumpy carves.

  16. Mari says:

    WHY are people not accepting facts. Skinny jean are not a trend. They will be the norm for a while, and thats great. What makes people think that disgusting pants that are too tight around the thighs, too low on the waist and too big around their ankles will improve their proportions. Sure, i wore bootcut in highschool. but I am now an adult, and want a good fit, which means it fits how my boddy is from my hips to my ankles. Unless your ankles are very fat flares will do nothing to help you.

  17. Mari says:

    One more thing. Alicia may not speak perfect english, but before you tell her to do her homework please tell me just how well you speak Swedish, or French or any other language. If your swedish isn’t better then Alicias English you owe her an apology.

  18. sue says:

    I hate, no, I detest skinny jeans and can’t understand why so many people like them, give me flares anyday

  19. mousey says:

    Honestly, skinny jeans are meant for thinner girls, any girl over a size 8 should never put the damn things on.
    Settled.

  20. Alicia says:

    Oh, just to answer Mari- English is my first language. Well, Swedish also, I guess. I lived in Minnesota for 8 years 🙂 Except I am Swedish and have always been visting Sweden every summer before I moved t
    here. But thanks :):)
    I go to an International IB school. Ha ha, excuse me for those grammatical errors… I’m lousy with proper grammar or spelling when I type.

  21. Daisy says:

    I AM WITH YOU!!! I am very feminine and love being trendy….but these designers make it impossible to keep up! Every time I feel like it’s going to be a “skinny” day, I walk to century to try on some skinny jeans…sadly I walk out handing back the jeans and feeling thick all over again. However, think of it this way, well I do, I may not be walking around in “skinny jeans” puffy ruffle tops, and a ton of weird jelery, but I can throw on my boot cut jeans, a sexy top that flatters my small waist and 36 D breast, some heels, sexy hair, and have ALL the men turning their heads!!

    MEN LOVE CURVES!

    Just the other day, my gorgeous boyfriend and I were having dinner at ONO (NYC) and we overheard a group of girls, which by the way looked ridiculous in what seems to be clothes straight out of Vogue, and they were all complaining about the lack of good men in NY and how the guys they date don’t call back….and my boyfriend just says to me,
    “well dressed like that, the only man that’s going to look at you is a gay man who likes fashion, no straight guy cares…” I just laughed and instantly felt sexier than ever!

    So the lesson to be learned ladies, F what Vogue, elle, etc try to stuff down our throats…stay true to what looks good and we should all stop trying to be the stick figure in the D&G AD…instead be a classy and sexy!

  22. Brittany says:

    Skinny jeans are officially unoriginal. I don’t care whether you think they look hot or not, the day every store in town tries to stuff something down my throat, is the day I wear something else. I”m sorry, but I’m not going to let some gay dude in Beverly Hills dictate what I’m going to wear every day for the next year.

    That goes for Uggz, pashminas, pastic jewellery, and any other “approved” fashions out there. Stop trying to tell me what to wear.

    I’m sorry, tell me again why my singular fashion goal is to look like somebody else?

    Honestly girls, grow a personality. You sit here defending skinny jeans as if they popped into existence on your request. Get a clue and realize you’re being hand-fed the only thing stores sell anymore.

    Maybe I was just raised to have my own opinion, but I”ll be damned if I’m going to huddle into the middle of this flock of insecure, unoriginal sheep.

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