One of the quickest, most concise ways to get a meta-glimpse at yourself is to review the terms in your Google search box. Since I’m online at least 40 hours a week, I’ve gots lots of search terms. Basically my whole life is crammed up in there.
A not-so-random sampling:
- “mojito recipe”
- “disillusionment” (spell checking for previous blog post headline)
- “austin barton springs pool” (for upcoming trip)
- “Popocatepetl” (local hard-to-spell volcano)
- “pinched nerve in neck” (ouch!)
And, most recently and perhaps most embarrassingly:
- “learning to drive stick shift”
Yes, folks, Joy can’t drive stick shift. No, more accurately: Joy gets heart flutters, palm sweats and crossed eyes at the thought of trying to get into second gear. Especially now that she lives in Mexico City. Why? As the Arizona Republic puts it, driving here is “headache grande.”
We’d like to buy a car — a cheap one — but the cheapest coches always have manual transmission. We have a friend who is selling her relatively new & cheap manual transmission compact car. It’s perfect…except for the whole transmission thing.
Of course, my phobia of stick shift driving irritates the better half to no end. “Why can’t you just learn? It’s eaaaaaasy,” he says. “Muy facil! Come on, you have to learn someday!”
So, amigos, what do you think? Am I being ridiculous and a little retarded? The few times I tried to learn, I was pretty shitty city. I managed, once, to drive to a mall and back, but not without stalling several times (and enduring merciless honking and shouting.) If I could drive around with nary another car (or batshit insane taxi driver, bus or truck) around, I’d try it. Sure, no hay problema. But on a normal day in the D.F.? No f’ing way. (I think my stress level — from just the mere discussion of this! — can be measured by the amount of swearing I’m doing right now.)
I like to blame this all on the fact that I’m left-handed. That if the gear shift was on the left side, I’d be fine — my left hand would be in control, I could become the female James Bond, shifting my way to lands yet unexplored at 80 mph, and looking good while doing it. (But do you even shift at that speed?)
I also think it has something to do with the fact that I don’t want to learn. I’ve got enough to learn right now, like a whole new language, culture and general-way-of-life. No small frjioles, eh?
Once I’ve got those three things mastered, perhaps I’ll take up stick shift.