I do not understand the whole concept of handwritten signatures — that people are supposed to sign their name exactly the same way every single time.
I have never been able to sign my name the say way, ever. In my entire life.
And boy, this inability to sign my name all matchy-matchy is really biting me in the ass these days. In Mexico, having a consistently perfect signature is like having a brain: if you don’t have one, you’re screwed.
After we tried to open up a bank account here in Mexico, I couldn’t sign the forms exactly like my passport. So our local bank branch sent an employee to our house to make me do it right. I practiced hundreds of times in one hour, signing, signing, signing. This ridiculous exercise fills up 10 pages of a notebook, my maniacal attempts to conform.
But no, I couldn’t do it. Each time, it was a little different. Signature 1 was entirely different from Signature 100, no matter how hard I concentrated. I’m sure Senor Banco Persona thought I was insane. (I might be? Is this a sign of insanity?)
Now we’re facing our visa renewals, and I’m having the same problem. How lame would it be to get booted out of the country because I can’t sign my name exactly the same as I did on my visa form last year? (That’s a joke, but I am worried.)
So, is there some special trick to this? Did I miss this class in school? Why can’t companies/governments just demand thumbprints or retina scans or anything but a signature?