A drug kingpin the same age as me was arrested while jogging in a Mexico City park yesterday, looking quite fit, trim and fashionable. In fact, if he was jogging around my local park, and he stopped to pet Charlie, I’d probably complement him on his stylish eyeglasses. And then feel guilty for not going to the gym enough. “Those fresas, they make me feel so uncool,” I might think to myself.
….And I’m starting to think the key to Mexico winning the war on drug violence is for the U.S. to keep sending important officials to visit on a weekly basis:
“By a happy coincidence, however, Carrillo Leyva was captured just hours before the US Homeland Security Secretary, Janet Napolitano and Eric Holder, Attorney General, arrived for talks about plans for tougher border controls to stop US weapons reaching Mexican drug gangs.”
These sorts of “happy coincidences” happen all the time, so if you’re a journalist covering the drug beat and are short on time, feel free to cut/paste the following, and fill in, a la Mad Libs.
By a happy “coincidence”, however, [insert kingpin name here] was captured just hours before [insert important U.S. official’s name here] arrived for talks about plans [insert yet-another hairbrained plan to end America’s insatiable appetite for narcotics, and the drug cartel’s insatiable need to make ungodly amounts of money by any means necessary.]