Yay! An Exceptionally Tacky *and* Sexist Restaurant Opens in Astoria!

I remember first learning about Hooters when I was a teenager, and just like the time when I learned that women didn’t always have the right to vote, I was appalled. Who are these women willing to work there and wear that stupid t-shirt and be treated like objects? And why would a man want to go there and treat women like that? Something told me that women’s suffrage and Hooters were parallels — men go to Hooters to pretend women don’t have the right to vote. Why? Because a lot of men have fragile egos and the pseudo-experience of forcing a hot woman to give them a hot meal somehow lifts their fragile egos, as fake as the whole exchange might be.

OK, that’s my interpretation, and I’m sure that’s just scratching the surface. Because it’s got to be more compelling than that, or else the novelty would wear off and this trend wouldn’t be spreading and seemingly getting even more stupid. Right?

So, it’s with an even more confused brain that I reveal to you a new Astoria restaurant disturbingly named “CANZ a City Roadhouse.” This tacky, poorly done double entendre name is no match for the web site, where almost all plural words are spelled with a “z” at the end — even “pretzel fingerz” gets bastardized. I have NO IDEA why the “z” is better than the standard “s” and why “CANS a City” wasn’t good enough, but then again, I don’t get the whole concept.

In case you haven’t gotten the totally fucking hilarious joke yet, the “CANZ” part of the name is referring to the mammary glands of the female reproductive system, which hold mysterious powers over the human male, while also referring to “Kansas City,” known for it’s great barbeque, a type of food that also holds mysterious powers over the human male (OK, and female).

And how do they follow through on the promise of “canz” being part of experience? Well, these women who I’m going to assume are waitresses — wait, I mean, waitressez — are displayed on the web site.

(Wouldn’t it be awesome if you showed up to CANZ a City Roadhouse and all these lovely ladies were actually in the kitchen, washing dishes or cooking the food? All that humidity ruining their false eyelashes and blow-outs? Big food and water stains getting tangled up in their hair and rinsing out their fake tans? Ah, a girl can dream.)

Before I get any hate-filled comments from people who take life too seriously, I’m not actually that worked up about the boob-ness of the place. Time has taught me that we still live in a sexist world, and places like this are relatively harmless on the scale between equality and slavery.  What really has me angry, though, is the name. It’s like we’re taking leaps and bounds into the Idiocracy Mike Judge predicted. Or shall I say, leapz and boundz.

13 thoughts on “Yay! An Exceptionally Tacky *and* Sexist Restaurant Opens in Astoria!

  1. DKN says:

    Hey, don’t knocker it til you try it!! YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!! Huzzah!!


    Anyway. I have to say I’m most offended by Kansas City getting dragged into this whole thing as if this Hooters meets Coyote Ugly visage would have ANYTHING to do with the actual town of Kansas City. And considering this place only boosts ONE bbq item on their menu, it can’t even be linked to THAT. Or Jazz….or fountains…or art museums, awesome head shops, Westport, the Plaza, the Power & Light district, The Chiefs, The Royals or The Wizards. NOTHING.


  2. Betty Victory says:

    Uggghhh, this sounds awful. There is always that male ego thing going on. Decency and respect seem to be taking a nose dive with a large portion of society. The more lewd and gross you are, the more you get noticed.

  3. adam says:

    Not quite sure I agree. No one’s holding a gun to their head…and they’re laughing all the way to the bank. Can’t feminism mean doing whatever the hell you want?

  4. Joe says:

    “Can’t feminizm mean doing whatever the hell you want?”

    Adam, nope. Feminizm means doing what Feminiztz want, the way they want, when they want! No queztionz about it either!

  5. jim johnston says:

    What about all those places with sexy male strippers/waiters? Hopefully a more enlightened future society will be able to accept all this ‘sex sells’ stuff without missing the big picture of human equality. Sexy, young things of both genders will always be of interest to human beings (and to businesspeople looking for a way to sell their products). The real inequality is that men have not been employed in this manner for long, whereas women have been doing it forever. Maybe when the male/female ratio is more balanced, it will become less of an issue. But right now I do have to agree with you Joy– it does look a bit ridiculous. (But have you tried the barbecue?)

    • DKN says:

      Eh – there is barely any BBQ in this place according to the menu. Lots of wings and pub grub, though, making it even more like a Hooters knock off. If there was decent BBQ, I’d be more likely to go and look at someone else’s tits – even though I already have my own – lol. I’ll put up with a lot for good BBQ.

  6. C. Smith says:

    While I agree with most of the points you are making, I can’t help but defend the women who choose to work at places like this place, ei a person very close to my heart, a very young and single mother who has practically no other choice- so she can feed her daughter and pay her mortgage. Unfortunately showing some leg goes a long way in the cash department.

  7. melina says:

    I happen to work at canz, i invite you, joy and anyone else who has anything bad to say but hasnt yet been to our locations to come visit us and learn that we are called CANZ for the selection of beer we carry in CANS. as adam already stated, no one is putting a gun to our heads to work there, i enjoy my job, i enjoy the the girls i work with and I enjoy the great costumers, men and women, who i get to meet on a daily basis. I dont know why you or anyone else for that matter would feel is OK to not only insult our “fake tans” or what not, but know this, we all work extremely hard at making our restaurant a great place! We take the time to educate our selves on the beer selection and food menus and food pairing (yes to you it might not seem like a huge deal, but to some of us who pay our bills this way it does). in a time where war and bad news are all around us, what is the harm on a place like CANZ-a city roadhouse? Its a fun, laid back enviroment, yes the boobs play a part on the naming OH WOW!!! big deal.Why do feminist think is ok to insult other women who LIKE what they do for a living? wether is working at canz or being a lawyer or whatever it may be….you dont have to like what we are all about, we all are more than happy doing what we do and i sincerely apologize if our restaurant offends you to the point that you need to blog about it, all i can say Joy, is thank you…..because wether we offended you or not, you still cared enough to write about us! 🙂 NOTHING BUT LOVE!!!!!

    • Joy Victory says:

      Hi Melina, I don’t think “feminists think it’s OK to insult other women who like what they do for a living.” Feminists hope for a better world for women, one in which women don’t need to work in venues like this to earn a living, where women are objectified and devalued by being held to a strict beauty standard.

      Feminism aside, your choice of career is limiting. You can only work there while you’re young and attractive by our current society’s norms, and you’ll never make much money, at least not compared to women working in professional fields like law or medicine. But I’m glad you say you enjoy it. That hopefully means you are being treated well. I just hope you have a back-up plan for when you get older.

  8. Scott Swenson says:

    I have applied at Canz to bartend. The owners and managers tried their best to tell me they do not discriminate, but it is painfully obvious my experience and references count for nothing because I am not a cute little cupcake in a Hooters wanna-be outfit.

    The person I corresponded with stated ” Oh we hire men, we have ONE at our CT location” It’s also interesting to note, they are always hiring.

    The young women there may very well be great bartenders and servers, or may make more at this job than others to help them go to school, raise a kid or whatever. I wont paint them with a broad brush. I am just annoyed with the blatant gender discrimination.

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