My Horoscope Is Startlingly True

Sagittarius

You’ll be diagnosed with a rare condition that makes it impossible for you to get started in the morning unless you have, like, three cups of coffee.

Source: Your Horoscopes – Week Of September 14, 2010 | The Onion – America’s Finest News Source.

Who cares if it’s a few weeks old, it’s incredibly accurate even to this day.

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